Change is possible, no matter the age

The 70-year-old client is an accountant by trade. So, when Ruth Shadel, Bert Nash aging specialist, talked to him about the cost and benefits of his actions, that made sense.

“But this was a different context,” the client said.

Shadel and the client connected not on a numbers level but on a trust level, which is important in the client-therapist relationship.

“You have to have that,” said Shadel, who started the Center’s Successful Aging Program in 2004. The program provides services for people 60 and over.

“It got to the point where her voice was in my mind, and I mean that in a good way,” the client said. “Working with Ruth, I was able to discover a lot of things about what was causing my problems and to work through that.”

Those problems included extreme anxiety, bordering on depression.

“I was feeling totally at loose ends and unable to deal with things,” the client said. “So, I came to Bert Nash.” The client began seeing Ruth in 2014. He knew about the Center because his son had received services here.

“When I was looking for help, I talked to my son and he had a good experience, so I thought why not,” the client said. “It’s one of the best things I ever did.”

When the client began coming to Bert Nash, he was “walled up emotionally.”

“Ruth would ask me how I was feeling, and I would tell her that is the hardest question for me to answer,” the client said. “My strategy in life was to adapt and endure, and that’s simply a long-term prescription for pain. Ruth helped me sort through past events and the consequences of those, which had made it difficult for me to have good relationships with other people.”

The client also participated in an eight-session forgiveness group, a new evidence-based-practice group started by Shadel.

“That was extremely helpful,” the client said. “It was very powerful.”

The client found out it’s never too late to learn new coping skills.

“I learned some skills that I guess a lot of other people would know already, but I didn’t,” the client said. “I grew up in a family where we didn’t talk about things. But, working with Ruth, I got the confidence to believe that I could deal with this stuff and that I could make a change in me and I could make a change in relationships.”

It’s never too late for someone to get help, regardless of age, Shadel said.

“One of the myths out there is that as we age that depression is a part of getting older,” Shadel said. “But it doesn’t have to be. It’s not a normal part of aging. There is treatment, and there is help.”