Creating a life worth living

Anna noticed that her daughter, Izzie, wasn’t acting like herself. She knew Izzie was struggling. Anna also knew Izzie needed help. That’s when she brought Izzie to Bert Nash. That was February 2018.

“The kid you see sitting here now is not the kid who was sitting there when we initially started coming to Bert Nash,” Anna said. “She’s really improved on just owning her part, which is a drastic step from where she came from.”

When Izzie, who is a freshman in high school, first came to Bert Nash, she didn’t want to be there. She had seen other therapists before, and she hadn’t had a good experience.

“My darling daughter didn’t care for therapy at the beginning,” Anna said, smiling.

Things were different when Izzie met with Sunnie Shedd, Bert Nash Family and Child Services therapist. Though not at first.

“At the beginning, she didn’t feel like she needed to be here, or that it was going to be a waste of time,” Sunnie said. “But how that evolved is a pretty powerful thing. She’s grown leaps and bounds. She’s a totally different kid.”

“We could come in and talk about our issues and she would tell me to shut up at times,” Anna said. “She was just so fiery. But then something happened. Sometime during the summer, things just clicked. The things Sunnie had said we started putting into practice.”

Izzie was responding to the things Sunnie had been telling her. “Sunnie got right to the point, and she actually cared about what she was doing,” Izzie said. Sunnie helped Izzie to look at her life differently.

“Before, when things used to get bad, I had a whole plan to kill myself before high school,” Izzie said. “But something just clicked. I thought, I kind of want to see how this turns out; I have things I want to do.”

Anna, who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis when Izzie was in kindergarten, didn’t want her daughter to have the same emotional struggles she had growing up.

“When I was 19, I got help, and I wanted Izzie to have her own toolkit, too,” Anna said. “I didn’t want her to walk through this world without knowing how to process her emotions.”

Anna had been a Bert Nash client. From her experience, she knew that therapy can help.

“I can remember Khala Bhana (Bert Nash therapist) telling me that counseling is just like going to the doctor, except that it’s for your emotional needs,” Anna said.

When Anna found out she was pregnant, she worried about what kind of mother she would be.

“I was so afraid of ruining her life,” Anna said. “Honestly, I was terrified of having a girl, not knowing how a mother is supposed to interact with a daughter, but it’s been incredibly cathartic. Izzie is very much my heart and an absolute mama’s girl. I’m incredibly proud of the effort that she’s put into improving herself.”

Therapy with Sunnie has helped both mother and daughter and how they interact together.

“Izzie and Anna have created a really healthy dynamic through their family therapy work,” Sunnie said. “Things are easier at home,” Anna said. “We used to have a lot of power struggles. I didn’t realize how big of a part I was playing in that. I used to think I had been through counseling, so I know what I’m talking about. I had to learn to be a better parent. There were things I thought I could fix, because I’m the mom and that’s what I do.

"And, Sunnie was like, no, you need to back off and let her figure it out herself.” And Izzie did figure it out.

“I had seen people who were really negative and never got any help, and I thought I don’t want to turn out like that,” Izzie said. “I used to have this whole plan of how I wanted to end it, but I realized there were things I want to do. I just want to live it.”

Now, whenever she’s experiencing something unpleasant, Izzie tells herself, “Breathe in, breathe out, try not to stress out.”

And she uses the tools Sunnie shared with her.

“Izzie realized that if she didn’t make changes, then nothing was going to change,” Sunnie said. “She took a big leap of faith and started to make those changes. How that evolved is a pretty powerful thing. It’s not pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, but it’s acknowledging this is hard, but I’m going to walk through it anyway and I’m going to ask for help and I’m going to do these things that will be painful and they might not turn out the way I want them to, but I’m going to try. She opened up and did the work she needed to do in order to create the life that is worth living.”