When she has needed help, Bert Nash has been there

What was your mental health journey that brought you to Bert Nash?

I actually started seeing a therapist back when I was in eighth grade because I had depression on top of typical teenage angst that I had a hard time dealing with. I also started getting medication for depression from Bert Nash at that time that went on for maybe a year or two.

However, it wasn’t until I was 22 that I believe I was in dire need of Bert Nash’s services. I got pregnant at the age 16 and gave birth to my daughter, Bailey, at 17. My only real support came from my single mother, Dorothy, and my younger sister, Nicole, whom Bailey and myself lived with.

I tried very hard to live up to everyone’s expectations of me from before I had gotten pregnant. “You are so smart,” “You are so talented,” “You are capable of being anything you want to be when you grow up!” I enrolled at KU full-time, started working a telemarketing job full-time, got an apartment for me and Bailey, and was sending Bailey to what I deemed the best preschool she could go to, Raintree Montessori. I got some student loans so that I could buy a cheap car and pay the deposit on my apartment. It all felt really great at first. But by the time May got here, my grades were failing, the engine in my car had gone caput, and I hated my job. My plate was just too heavy and it all became too much. I had a mental breakdown, stopped going to my classes, kept calling in sick to work, and was very suicidal. I confided in my mom, who took me to Bert Nash to speak with someone.

They helped me get into Stormont Vail in Topeka, where I stayed for a few days and got the immediate help that I needed. When I got out, Bailey and I moved back in with my mom, and family helped me pay my rent and Bailey’s preschool tuition. I started seeing a therapist weekly, got diagnosed, and given medications all through Bert Nash (the diagnoses have changed throughout the years a little bit and include Bipolar disorder, Borderline Personality, Anxiety, and PTSD). I honestly have had a lot of obstacles and past trauma to overcome, and although I’m still working on it, Bert Nash has helped a lot.

How did you learn about Bert Nash?

My mother (Dorothy) is a social worker and since I was still a minor when I first started receiving services through Bert Nash, it was all through her that I learned about it.

How long have you been coming to Bert Nash for services?

I had just turned 22 when I started and have just turned 36. I haven’t seen a therapist non-stop the whole time, 14 years now.

How has Bert Nash helped you?

It has actually helped in a lot of ways. The things that stick out the most for me are some of the things I learned in IOP, which I attended right after leaving Stormont Vail when I was 22. I learned how to realize when I’m having ruminating thoughts and to recognize them for what they are, and also some of the different techniques to distract from those thoughts. I will admit, that every once in a while, I’ll need a refresher, but those skills have been a big help. I also joined a forgiveness group (to help me to forgive myself and a few other people), which helped me to begin to work out some of the past trauma from my life. It is also because of seeking therapy through Bert Nash that has (and currently is) helping me to finally start to realizing that it’s not the end of the world if I haven’t reached certain societal milestones by a certain age (college degree, career, marriage, more children, having a car, moving out of my mother’s home, etc.), and that it doesn’t mean that my life has been a failure. In fact, as my therapist Connor was quick to remind me, a lot of people who have reached those milestones don’t report being any happier than people who haven’t.

What do you like about meeting with your therapist via televideo?

I actually really like meeting via televideo and hope that it remains an option even after this pandemic is no longer an issue. In the past, there have been times where I was really depressed and even getting out of bed was a huge chore. If I could have literally just rolled over and talked to my therapist on a screen from my bed, there would have been a lot less no call, no shows on my record. I also do not currently have a vehicle, so I have to borrow my mom’s car to get to Bert Nash normally, which is inconvenient for her, because she drives a lot for her job. Again, not having to leave my home but still being able to talk to my therapist and work on the struggles I’m trying to overcome has been very convenient. I honestly don’t feel any difference between meeting in person and meeting via televideo except for the convenience. I feel that I am getting the same amount of help that I would be receiving in person.

Have people you are close to been supportive of your decision to receive services?

I consider myself fortunate because I have almost never felt the need to hide my mental illness from people, or to feel ashamed of needing to receive services. Like I said, my mom and sister, along with the rest of my mother’s family have always been supportive, and everyone I consider a good friend is very supportive as well, and even glad that I’m receiving the support I need.

Please feel free to provide any additional information you think would be relevant.

At first, I will admit that I wasn’t sure if working with Connor would work. I’m not usually comfortable around men my age, especially in the role as therapist. I had only ever had one other male therapist, but he was older which made me more comfortable. It didn’t take me long to realize that I had nothing to worry about when it came to Connor, though. He’s very professional, but still manages to make me feel like he knows some of the struggles that people my age go through, which is comforting. He’s also not so serious that I feel like I can’t be my normal sarcastic, smart-aleck self, which is also comforting. He’s also very patient, which is good because I can be very long-winded, detailed, and just talk non-stop for a long time.